Flood Project

Monday, January 24, 2005

Whacked Out I woke up facing the popcorn ceiling, I stared at it blankly for a moment contemplating where the hell am I and why do I feel sore all over. I tried getting up but my body feels so heavy, I tried raising an arm but it's as if my bones and muscles don't wanna cooperate with my brain. Then it dawned on me, I'm now in my cozy room, I've got bruises and welts in my elbows, forearms, chest, buttocks, thighs, knees, and legs. Jeez! What has gotten in my mind? Why did I do that thing for? I did enjoy the experience but do I have to ache everywhere? These were my thoughts as I outlined yesterday's event that caused my hurting, I rewound, played and paused it in my mind like a broken DVD player. I was dripping with sweat because of the hot winter weather up in the snowy mountains, believe it or not, it's hot!!! I remembered going up and down so vigorously, and whenever I drop or fall down, I'd curse or cry out a very resonant "ouch!", "fuck!", and "puta!" with my butt and thighs on the ground, legs and feet a hundred and eighty degrees apart or maybe a couple of degrees more, sometimes I fall or drop on my chest and forearms. Face and body all flushed, panting like an exhausted dog, I'd struggle to get up. I recalled wincing in agony as I walked into the bathroom and screamed a resounding "hell no!" when I saw blood dripping on my thighs. Exhausted and squirming with pain, I opened the shower and washed my body with hot water, I felt relieved for a moment. I slept afterwards and now, I'm here lying on my bed, body is still throbbing, recollecting that hell of an experience. Limping as I get up, I told myself, these self-afflicted mars were worth my learning on how to snowboard, yeehaw!!! (Aray!!!) Tuesday, January 17, 2006 Long Night I woke up in the middle of the night wet.. So wet I felt like I was overflowing.. I was at shock at first, but then I collected myself. I tried finding that one familiar thing..but alas, 'twasn't there. I tried to reach something of the same sort in the dark and found it. I pulled down my underpants, the only garment I had on, and put that cylindrical thing inside my thighs.. I pushed it deeper. It hit something within, I stopped. Pushed it again, and hit something again. It didn't hurt so I just went on pushing until it was where I wanted it to be. I pulled the cylindrical thing out and went back to slumber but I can't. This is the first time I did this and I felt uncomfortable yet soo good. I fear of side effects but the anxiety was brushed off everytime I toss and turn in my bed for I felt like exploding.. A couple more hours and this pleasurable discomfort will end.. Tomorrow I'll buy me a pack of sanitary napkins, I don't wanna use tampons again, if situation permits to that is.. Wednesday, June 28, 2006 The Ride We're on our way home from the bowling lanes. My real date was a disaster, my other wooer rescued me from it. It was a terrible night, I didn't know that that Malaysian-Indian guy's a bullshitter from head to toe.. We're in my rescuer's car. He held my hand giving me comfort. Then he guided my hand to touch that stiff thing. My hand got sweaty the instant I felt its hardness. He closed his hand to mine and guided me on how to manuever it giving instructions as the car runs.. We went faster and faster.. Stopping abruptly sometimes, slowing down a little, then going faster again. My left arm went numb from reaching down, concentrating on what I'm doing even if I'm a bit afraid.. It has been a long while since I last did that thing and not from the passenger side.. On Sunday, I'll make sure I'm the driver even if he's the teacher. How can I learn the footwork in the clutch and brake of an M/T car if he'll still be the driver, right?