Idol kita, Ate, eh!

Every Sunday, my cousin's phone minutes are free, well everybody else's I guess, so he gives me a ring every Sunday whenever he's not too busy or he's sober enough to talk to me.

Last Sunday, he gave me a ring and told me he's so lonely because he misses his family, this will be his first Christmas away from them. So being the big hearted cousin I am, I consoled him over the phone, can't do it personally as I used to because we're three time zones apart. He said, "iiyak na ako , Ate," even if he's 7 months older than I do, he fancies calling me Ate Co because I think and speak older than my age daw, yadda-yadda-yadda... So, in order to divert his attention, I asked him how's he doing in New Hampshire, what are the things that keep him busy, does he have a girlfriend, and so on... He told me that life's hard for him there because of the racial discrimination, he said he signed a form and took a test saying and proving he has an ADD (attention deficit disorder), evethough he has not, just to be excused and such, what a jerk!

Then came the subject I would like to forget and drop like a hot potato, he apologized for permitting me to view his webcam when he was only wearing his birthday suit. "I was having a cyber orgy that time, Ate, eh, I thought you're one of them, my bad," he explained, "I hope you didn't mind seeing me, Ate, 'coz I didn't naman eh." Well, I honestly didn't mind seeing him naked, aheheheh! I'm not a malicious person naman eh, aba kung lahat ng nakahubad na katawan na makikita ko eh titingnan ko ng meh malisya, inde ako tatagal sa ospital, 'kako. Then I asked him, why engage in a cyber sex/orgy, is getting laid for him so difficult too? He told me, he already had sex eight times since he got there --- September, and there's no reason for him to lie to me, we've been so honest to goodness eversince --- thrice when he's conscious and the other five times was when he was half drunk. "I've been hanging around bars lately, Ate, eh. I've managed to have some friends naman, so they brought me there, we're having some good time, you know, boozing, dancing, smoking, cigarettes hah not weeds... How about you, how's your social life?" Told him my social life's not as healthy as it was when I was in the Philippines, inde pa rin kase ako gaanong exposed sa mga katauhan dito though I've been here for almost a year na. At dahil inde pa siya kuntento at nais talaga niya akong isalang sa hot seat, he interrogated me more, "So wala ka ring sex life? How about your love life, Ate?" Told him I'm still a virgin, technically, and the two boyfriends I've had in college were the only ones in my list of boyfriends. "Haynaku, Ate! Niloloko mo naman ako eh! You were such a player back in high school kaya..." This time, his coniotic tone's getting into my nerves. I don't need to explain myself to him, but then I still told him, "I didn't have any when we were in high school!" And then just like a bulb being switched in his head, he rememebered, "Ay oo nga pala! Those guys were just flings, the somewhere in between guys. The more than your friend but less than your boyfriend guys. The mukhang kayo pero no commitment naman, right?"

"Right!"

"You're still a virgin? You're not the Ate Co I used to know kung ganun. You were like Miranda Hobbes and Samantha Jones rolled into one when you were in the Philippines. Dapat nga mas naging liberated ka since you got here in the US eh, but it seems you became conservative, like Charlotte York."

This time, rumepeke na ang prangka kong bunganga, "I said, technically. You're watching too much Sex and the City reruns. Besides, I still haven't found the man who could give me the big O. Ano kaya 'yun, I'm having my big O while masturbating, tapos 'yung makaka-deflower sa'kin na guy will not give me half of the pleasure I'm having while humping my pillow, eh 'di nabanas lang ako nun at baka maiba pa perception ko about sa sex, eh 'di lalong naleche ang will be sexlife ko."

"Sabagay, you've a point there, Ate. Humping your pillow? Oh my gosh, Ate, you're too old school!"

Now, he crushed my pride without knowing it that in order to salvage it I retaliated with, "Eh kung bibilhan mo ba ako ng dildo this Christmas eh 'di no more old school."

And he bit it. He said he'll be spending the Spring Break here in Cali, that I should tag alongwith him whilst barhopping in LA para naman bumalik sa normal ang aking social life. And then he asked another question, as if ayaw talagang bitawan ang subject, "Surely you've been kissed na, Ate, 'di ba?" That moment, I would like to bang the phone to his ear, but I know he's just asking, so I told him I just kissed a girl and mentioned her name. "That girl with a 29 inch bustline? Ate, naman, she's pretty but, eww!" was his reaction. So I asked him, does it bother him that I've kissed a girl, he said no, he's bothered by me kissing a girl with a 29 inch bustline, besides, he's not narrow-minded, he said. "Alam mo, Ate, idol kita, noh. I'm thinking of having an affair with a guy nga eh, and fucking him too, just to explore my sexuality! But it seems to me you've changed a lot since you came here. Are you still my Ate Co? Were you possessed or something? Please give my Ate Co back, I miss her so much."

Oh the melodrama! Now I've been asking myself too, have I lied too low from the ME I used to? If so, why am I feeling I'm still the same vixen I was? Or I just can't see myself just like the others?

Dear Manly Diary # 1

Dear Diary,

I wonder. Do women ever consider, y'know cupping a feel of other women's boobs? I think I saw it in a movie somewhere and it's like they were dissecting a frog in biology class. Or like when little boys compare each other's weiners. But is it the same? Did I make the correct analogy?

I mean I know what a real boob feel like (besides acting like one many times), I'm just curious. There :)

- Quentot